


Between Royal Puns and Pie Pranks

by Darkhymns



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Altertale, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Friendship, Romance, Swapped Roles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 15:48:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6861334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkhymns/pseuds/Darkhymns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After meeting with the skeleton guardian of the Ruins, Toriel comes to terms with her feelings for him. But why would he care for a silly young monster like herself?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Between Royal Puns and Pie Pranks

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off of [friisans'](http://friisans.tumblr.com) Altertale AU, where [Sans and Toriel](http://friisans.tumblr.com/post/142094385375/i-mightve-taken-this-abit-too-far-welp-x) swap their roles (along with Papyrus with Asgore, and Asriel with Gaster). Tried my best to keep them both in character yet mindful on how their roles would change certain aspects about them. Obviously, you should check out the art first.
> 
> I just really like the idea of this AU and rolled with it, I can't help it.

"Hey, old man."

"yeah?"

"Which do you prefer? Butterscotch or cinnamon?"

Toriel stretched out her legs in the snow, huddling into her thick jacket. The snow drizzled today, sticking to her fur like frosting. She took her breaths slowly, welcoming the chill inside her chest.

From the door she sat against came a soft _knock, knock._

She grinned. "Who's there?"

"tibia."

"Tibia who?"

"tibia honest, i haven't any clue." It's difficult to explain just how someone could shrug with his voice, but that was what she heard. "i don't eat much sweet stuff."

She mocked gasped. "That's terrible! Have you been living under a rock your whole life?"

"heh, aren't we all though?" That had made her laugh unexpectedly, and he joined her, the deepness of his tone translating well through the thickness of the doors between them.

"'sides, i'm more of a burgers and fries kind of guy."

"You have to have at least _some_ dessert stuff sometime, right?

"well, there are spider donuts laying around here."

"Better than nothing."

"i dunno about that. unless you like creepy crawlies with your food."

Toriel thought about that. "How about slimey things like snails?"

"wow, gross."

She laughed again, her tail shifting through the snow.

"why the question though?"

"Hmm, well…" She reached for the plate beside her, which had just conveniently appeared. "I made some pie today, but I couldn't finish it all. And my brother says he's cutting back on the sugar."

"well, that's wrong. it's the bro's job to eat the leftovers." There was that strange, barely heard tone in his voice whenever she mentioned her sibling. She had once successfully pried out some details – about one brother who had never much liked this old man's jokes. And another who had loved them more than anything. That was all he would tell her though.

"I told him so! But then he just left to do some training." She balanced the plate on her lap. A clean slice of pie, topped with fresh whipped cream. "Butterscotch and cinnamon, though with a bit more butterscotch. Want it?"

"if you can slide it under the door, sure."

"Pfft, no. I can just give it to you like a normal monster."

"heh..." Yet she didn't hear him move, could imagine this other figure seated the way she was, back against the door, surrounded by darkness within stone walls instead of darkness within snow.

"Or I can leave it out here for you instead."

Now in his voice, she could see his grin. "sure thing. gimme some of that buttspie."

"That's not what it's called!" Though she argued through snickers, which made the old man chuckle along with her. Getting ahold of herself, she placed the pie plate on the snow, careful to not let it slip onto the ground.

"Just as a thank you," she told him. "For talking with me all this time."

A pause, then, "same." She heard him get up, detecting that strange sound of rattling, like castanets clapping together. "promise you won't sneak back here before i'm gone?"

"I promise." She pulled up her hood, careful to insert her horns through the makeshift holes in the material. She pocketed both paws. "Talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"wouldn't miss it."

As she trudged through the drifts back through Snowdin, the snow piles nearly as tall as she was, she heard the tell-tale creak of a door, like stone grumbling through the earth. But she didn't look back, despite how much she wanted to. She knew how much the old man valued promises.

* * *

He was so much taller then she had expected. As they stood out there in the sunlight once the barrier was broken, the Surface stretching out before them and all their friends, she couldn't help but keep sneaking glances towards him. He was a skeleton draped in dark robes, the grin on his face both friendly and contagious as it made her lift her own muzzle pleasantly. He didn't match up to the height of his brother, King Papyrus, his shoulders not nearly so wide, carrying no sharp weapon at his side. He was only in his simple robes, the royal symbol stitched in midnight blue, his skull shielded from any light or warmth that the sun brought. And yet even through all that, she thought he seemed very grand indeed.

"liking the view?" He said, turning to her.

Both of them were a bit separated from the rest of the group, standing next to each other, this tall skeleton in his dark robes, and this goat girl, short in stature, her purple jacket highlighting so clearly against the greenery of the expansive forests.

She blinked, controlled her voice enough to say, "Yeah. Maybe I should take a picture. You know, for memories!"

"hey, i don't mind you sightseeing." He winked at her. "look for as long as you want."

She had no idea that such an innocuous joke and simple gesture could suddenly make all coherent thought leave her head.

He definitely was handsome for a skeleton, and his pun arsenal vastly outnumbered her own. (Always a plus). He was older than her, but not nearly as much as she had thought. She briefly flicked her gaze from his face to his feet, and the sight of those fuzzy pink slippers almost made her choke on bubbling laughter.

He lifted his foot up slightly. "hey, they're comfy."

"I can tell you like comfy, Sans," she said. The name flowed from her mouth naturally, succinct in its existence.

He seemed to grin even wider at that, pulling at his cheekbones, sleek and white. "i'll take that as a compliment, tori."

She smiled back. "Only my brother calls me by that, you know."

"just means he has good taste in nicknames." His eye sockets crinkled just very slightly in concern. "you mind?"

"No." The heels of her bare feet scuffed against the ground aimlessly. "But if it makes you feel better, I hereby grant you permission to call me that, Your Royal Highness."

She wondered if he would mind being addressed by that past title of his, but he laughed slightly, genuine in his tone. "thanks, shortstuff."

She pointed a claw at him. "Not _that_ though."

"heh…hey, tori?" he asked her, voice suddenly soft.

"Hmm?"

Sans shifted his pupils to the other end of their group, to where a small human child talked with the energetic skeleton king. "thanks for taking care of the kid."

"Of course!" she said.

They both went back to watching the sky.

* * *

Sans was good at avoiding pranks. A bit too good, really. Toriel guessed that Frisk must have tipped him off about her stunts. When the human had left the Ruins back then, she had gotten them with one knocker of a joke; an airy voice through the trees that had made the child tremble, her suddenly appearing behind them, voice low to shake her hand… and then surprising them with a pie slice smacked right in their face. She had laughed loud then, helping them clean off the mess, and making it up to them with newly-knitted scarves to shield them from the cold.

When Toriel had tried to do the same with him, Sans had simply sidestepped despite her quick movement. The pie had simply fallen to the ground.

"what?" He told her with a shrug. "think i'm just going to stand there and take it?"

She had pouted. "You could be a good sport about it."

"ah, you expect too much from me, tori."

So that had been her little mission. Sure, maybe her brother was curious as to why she hung out with the royal skeleton so often ("Come on, Gorey. It's just to catch him off guard!") and even Frisk would sometimes stare at her blankly, giving her a thumbs up whenever she and Sans went off for a walk. But she paid them little attention, instead focused on the baking of her pies, trying out new variations of cinnamon, strawberries, pecan, and snails (her favorite) and hoping to give Sans the full course.

Didn't matter if she would do so in mid-conversation, summoning the pie from nowhere and aim it straight at his grinning skull. After about the tenth or so time, she was getting a little frustrated.

"I'm beginning to think you don't like my cooking," she told him. They stood at the front porch of Sans and Papyrus' new house. The pie slice was slowly sliding down the front door, leaving a trail of sugar, cream, and crushed snail shells.

"just not an escargot fan." He said, hands folded in his sleeves.

"Is that so? I think we may need to evaluate our friendship."

"whoa, hey, i can learn to like 'em. i'll even help you make some."

Toriel raised an eyebrow. "Really?" Not even Asgore helped with her baking much, usually too devoted to his own projects.

"yeah, promise." He held out his hand to her. "how about a shake to seal the deal?"

And honestly, she should have seen it coming. But maybe it was the way those eyes of his looked at her, how his posture made her crane her neck up, wanting to know all the details. So, unconsciously, she took his hand, and through the strangely warm feeling of finger bones against her paw, a long, farting sound sounded between their hand shake.

"heh, old whoopee cushion in the hand trick." Sans held up his hand, said trick device latched to his palm. "it's _always_ funny, right?"

Toriel stared at the laughing skeleton, at the way his shadowy robes rustled with his movement, at how bright his smile was in contrast.

 _Oh no,_ she thought. _I'm in love with him, aren't I?_

* * *

They took walks sometimes. Sans seemed to particularly like it, despite the fact that he was such a lazybones and would stop after only two minutes of exercise. Toriel didn't mind. She'd go along with him as they traversed through some of the natural paths that trailed across the Surface, some of them winding around the base of Mt. Ebott. On one evening, the sun looked so saturated against the pinkish backdrop of the sky, lengthening shadows all around them both. Sans stopped once again, hooded skull craned upward, as if he could identify the very summit of the mountain, and from there, the very pit to where monsters once marched to in grim finality. For all she knew, maybe he could.

Toriel's paws fiddled within her pockets. She hadn't spoken much during their walk, and Sans was beginning to notice.

"something up?" He called back to her, turning just slightly. The darkness of his trappings clashed greatly with the warmth in his voice, in that tone of genuine happiness that she could hear clearly. He grinned at her, pleasant, eager, but also very patient.

She huffed a little sigh, then shook her head, her long ears flapping about. "I could tell you, but, you probably already know. Like you seem to know everything."

Sans was looking very amused. "heh. sorry, tori. ya got me stumped."

"Now you shouldn't be teasing a young lady like me, you know." It was such a wonder that she could still the tremors in her voice. She almost sounded normal. "Especially, with someone who admires you quite a lot."

"oh?"

"Yes." She narrowed her eyes slightly. "See? You're doing it again. I… I can take a joke as much as the next monster, but that can result in… hurt feelings. You understand?"

Sans was still grinning. The only difference was in the shape of his eye sockets, slightly widened, though not by much.

"ya lost me."

She took a deep breath. She really didn't want to detail it but… "That I… you must know I really care about you. And that I care about you very much! But, I'm aware that you could never really fall for such an anxious girl such as myself. So, to play with my feelings such as this… well, I'd hoped you'd have had a better sense of humor."

As she spoke, her eyes slowly but surely directed themselves to the ground. She could already feel her nervousness spread within her chest – something that she had not experienced much during her years, even when she worried over her brother and his escapades. Yet Sans seemed to find a way to make her lose her train of thought with just a grin and a careless wink. To admit all this to him though, it felt like a surrender she wasn't sure she was ready to act on. Toriel clenched her fists within her pockets, watching in trepidation as Sans' long shadow moved across the grass, falling over her smaller form.

A hand, bare in all its curves and ligaments, bleached white like fresh snow, cupped against her cheek. With very little insistence, he raised her head, made her see that same smile of his, hovering just two feet above her.

"tori, don't you know you already _goat_ my heart?" He winked, then added, "metaphorically speaking."

Her low confidence in herself was more of a problem then she first thought. Because her brain concocted so many excuses for what she both saw and heard. Oh, he was just ribbing her like always, he was a skeleton of so many years, and even if he sometimes had the maturity of a seven-year old with his practical jokes, he still outweighed her in every aspect. Well, maybe not on the physical side of things, since he was just bones and-

"you okay?"

"Um." She flushed more, doing all she could to not reach for her hood and flip it over her head. "I'm- I'm sure you could find someone better than a silly young doe like me! I mean, it just seems-"

"whoa, hey, deep breaths, shortstuff."

His hand lifted from her cheek, only to settle on her head, his thumb just slightly pressing against one of her horns. He petted her soothingly, inviting her to calmness, which she deeply appreciated. Except the feel of his hands, despite their nature, felt a bit too nice against her. She tried to subtly edge away from his touch so she could think straight.

"I just want to be sure." She looked up at him, her craning at an angle. "Did you mean what you said?"

Sans folded his hands in his sleeves, looking almost regal if it weren't for his constant grin. "hey, i wouldn't get your goat like that."

"You can't use the same pun twice."

"who says?"

"I says!"

"heh." He looked down at her with sudden affection that she could no longer really deny it. She swallowed.

So now what?

Sans looked pleased enough to just stand there for the rest of the day, staring at her fondly. (And probably fall asleep while doing so). Toriel realized she would have to take the initiative in this newfound relationship if she wanted it to progress.

"Well, if, um, that's the case, then…" she stared at him then, watching for any signs to indicate that this was all some big joke to him. A difficult thing to do, since he took everything as a joke, but he had the same contented grin as always. "Then you won't mind if I try something?"

Sans shrugged. "hey, i'm down with anything."

"Funny you should mention that, because…" She cleared her throat, feeling the breeze shift her fur. "Uh, come down here for me. Please?"

Sans took a moment to look at her, evaluating the distance between them. She only reached just past his waist, not as short as he liked to tease her about, but unable to match his stature. With patience, he lowered himself to the grass, sitting cross-legged before her so that she was the one with the height advantage.

She frowned. "You didn't need to sit."

"too tired to kneel." His smile was soft. "'sides, i'm liking the view from down here."

Toriel tried not to let his words fluster her so. It was still too hard to believe anyone would even try flirting with her, especially one who should certainly prefer someone else, someone older, someone who didn't dress herself in sloppy hoodies and could trace back her ancestry to more than just her 'father.' But before she could berate herself even further, she sat herself down before him, knees tucked under her, with Sans once again gaining the height advantage.

"Just please tell me if this is not what you want, alright?" she asked, unable to look him in the eye sockets.

"okay."

With that out of the way, she took a deep breath to mentally prepare. Then she shifted forward, not caring about the grass stains she was probably getting on her dress. She placed both hands over his arms, looking like she was leaning into a hug, except it was, well, more than that.

Sans seemed to have figured out her intentions. He stayed still, kept on smiling, and shut his eyes. He started to idly hum, his own hands grasping her elbows lightly in their sort-of embrace, bony fingers tapping away playfully.

Okay, so he was more than fine with this. Which was good. Wonderful, even. Now all Toriel had to do was lean forward and…

She started to do so, but her very slight trembling kept her from going too far. She kept staring at him, at how patient he was being. He was still humming, completely without care and worry. She wished she could be like that, but she had always been an anxious monster who would just worry too much, to the point of being smothering as her brother would say, and maybe Sans would feel the same way and perhaps she should just stop this before –

She shook her head slightly. _No, come on. You can do this, Tori. It's just a stupid kiss. People do it all the time, right? So quit being so scared and just do it already._

To make it easier on herself, she shut her eyes and leaned forward in an agonizingly slow pace. Hopefully she would get there sometime this century, and Sans, who could outwait the patience of rocks, would probably not mind if she took her time. Hopefully.

She felt him shift forward, and then realized how utterly unprepared she was for everything.

The feel of him was sudden. His teeth pressed lightly against her lips, ridged, evenly spaced, and chill. She flinched, only slightly, and was then reduced to stillness when she felt the soft hint of magic move through her chest. His hands had carefully slid around her back, bringing her in, connecting her to the magic that left his body and was searching for her own.

 _Oh, oh, he's kissing me,_ Toriel thought blearily. Then, after careful perusal over those words, her head filled with _aaaaaAAAAAAHHH._

Outwardly, she tentatively leaned more against him, paws still resting over his arms, sifting against soft robes. He accepted her, sliding one skeletal hand up to her face, thumb placed just below her ear, submerged in downy fur. She felt soft vibrations – the very faint aftermath of a deep chuckle as he continued to kiss her.

She was still a bit too shell-shocked to react properly.

They stayed like that for a while, longer then she intended. She only moved back when she felt her legs start to cramp. Sans let her do so, his hands now sifting to her waist.

"that was nice," he said.

"U-um.." was all she could stutter out, knowing that her entire face was a full pink. "Um.."

He winked at her. "was it nice for you, too?"

With a tiny yelp she ducked her head into his chest, too overcome with everything. His hands patted her back comfortingly. Muzzle immersed into his robe, she caught the scent of cotton, of bones, and his magic, familiar and comforting. "N-no comment," she finally answered.

Sans chuckled deeply. She could feel his rib cage move in motion to that laugh, hear his voice thrum underneath his robes. "you're super cute, babe," he told her.

She could feel her own magic heating up her ears. "Please don't tease me so much," she begged softly.

"aww, well, okay." His chin perched atop her head, saying nothing more.

Toriel sank into his chest, waiting until she could face him again. With the breeze blowing against her, and his arms holding her close, she felt it would be a while before she could.

* * *

When they got back to Sans' home at sunset, Papyrus and Asgore were already there, waiting on the porch.

"SANS. I WAS WORRIED SICK. I WAS ABOUT TO FORM A ROYAL SEARCH PARTY FOR YOU. A ROYAL SEARCH PARTY CONSISTING OF ME AND MY ROYAL HELPER." The skeleton king pointed to the young goat beside him.

"Yes! I was worried, too, Tori! I had to make tea to calm myself down." His paws held a tiny teacup, one that had floral prints on its surface. Decked in his armor and long scarf, he seemed so small compared to the tall skeleton in his royal ensemble – a long, flowing mantle decked over his bones.

"I ALSO ROYALLY ASKED ASGORE TO MAKE ME SOME TEA. IT IS INDEED VERY CALMING AND I WOULD HAVE ENJOYED IT MORE IF YOU HAD NOT WORRIED ME SO." Papyrus held up his own teacup, this one in the shape of a very happy skull. There were some strands of spaghetti that hung from its side, but no one dared question the king's choices.

"sorry, bro. got sidetracked." Sans was holding Toriel's hand as they walked up to their siblings.

Confused looks were passed all around.

"OH. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?" Papyrus asked loudly. Asgore merely blinked with wide eyes.

Toriel was tongue-tied. "We, well…"

"so that we don't get lost in the dark," Sans answered. Night really was coming by fast. "like traveling buddies."

"AH, OF COURSE. YOU ALWAYS HAVE SUCH GOOD IDEAS, BROTHER."

"heh."

Asgore looked less than convinced.

Toriel deftly slipped out of Sans' grasp. "I'll have to take my brother home now. Right, Gorey?"

Seeing the attention shift to him, her older brother nodded with a wide smile. "Yeah! I have to go water my nighttime plants now!"

She made to leave, and so did Sans. But when Asgore got excited to walk further down the path, and Papyrus disappeared into the house – Toriel lingered.

"Sans?"

He turned to her.

She rushed to him to give him a forceful hug, her head only reaching to his stomach. He stumbled a little, for once having been caught off guard.

"You sure you would want to be with me?" she asked, tentative.

Sans took a moment. She could tell he was trying to be a little more serious for her. "yep," he answered.

"Then I'll see you tomorrow, like always." She let a smile form. "So… be good in the meantime, okay?"

Sans reached out to her then, embracing her tightly. "always."


End file.
